7 Ways You Know Your Church Doesn't Value the Unchurched

I was on staff at a church one time where during the whole year we didn't see anyone accept Christ, have their life transformed or baptized. I told God that if this is ministry I want out. We hosted programs, conferences and events. We had good music and preaching but no life transformation. 

I believe we as churches have to intentionally pursue the unchurched. We have to bleed passion for those far from God. 

As I work with church planters and revitalization projects here are 7 ways (not exhaustive) that you know your church doesn't value the unchurched. 

1. You expect them to be the missionary. 

•We have made the unchurched the missionary in the 21st century. They are the biggest missionary group in the world. The church today expects them to take a mission trip to our church campus instead of us meeting them where they are at. 

•When a church loses the edge of pursuing those far from God this happens. There has to be a certain passion and push to go after them. 

•We have split this into two primary categories at Thrive: 

1) Missional Outreach: This is 1st Corinthians 13- love or as King Jimmy calls it, "charity." We do not expect return. We are simply engaging, giving and connecting. We do not judge the results by how many come to the campus or accept Christ.  

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2) Missional Marketing: This is going after those far from God through marketing tools such as strategic postcards, Internet, invite cards, bracelets and more. We want those folks seeking and interested to connect with our family. We want them to come to a worship experience, surrender to Christ and become part of our family. 

2. You expect them to understand your church culture instead of exegiting theirs. 

•This is where you are more concerned about the style of church you have than the type of people you are going to reach. You may do strange things in your church service that people in your target community don't get. (Hint: we all do). Instead of changing the culture you keep doing it your way and wanting them to adapt. 

•Exegete your culture. What do the unchurched, dechurched and churched all have in common? What have they experienced in church before? What will they not understand about your church? What may be confusing? 

Here is a tip: If you always have to stop and explain WHY you are doing this strange practice or are getting a ton of questions- then stop to ask why this is happening. 

3. You use language that they don't understand. 

•Please bear with me. This is sensitive but it has to be done. Our church services are littered with strange words to the unchurched or offensive words to the dechurched. 

Verbiage such as:

-apostolic mandate (whatever that means)

-five fold ministry 

-corporate destiny (first time I heard this I literally had no clue what the dude was saying. I thought he was speaking to business owners. Seriously)

-Kingdom (I asked a group recently what was the Kingdom of God after a dude preached on it. They were stumped)

-God speaking (clarify to people what that is) 

-Destiny (it means fate to the unchurched) 

-tithing [which is a biblical practice] (for months after I got saved I didn't know what was happening at offering time. They taught on "tithing" each week. Still was clueless. Let them know at this time we are going to worship God by giving) 

-take the city (we don't do this alone. It takes all the churches)

-army of God (sounds like Islam) 

-prophetic 

Help your leaders learn to say all these biblical ideas in everyday language. If you want a great commentary on this watch the film, "Jesus Camp," with the commentary on. The directors are far from God and VERY confused looking in on this camp. 

4. Signage is poor. 

•You expect them to know where everything is at. Over speak with signage. Make sure you have great signage pointing to entries, kids, restrooms and exits. 

5. You care more about pleasing or appeasing attendees than the unchurched. 

•"This is just who we are. We don't reach the unchurched but we have revival every week. Our people love it and would leave if we changed." That may be your best course of action. You may need some over fed, fat Christians to leave. 

•Going deep and not reaching the unchurched is a farse. If you have revival and folks are not surrendering to Christ then it's not revival. It could possibly be (not in all cases) your people flicking off the unchurched as they go "deep." Christ was crucified so people far from Him could come to know Him. 

•Stretch people to trade off so they can see those people far from God reached. 

6. You aren't prepared for them. 

•This is in two ways:

a) No guest services that make them feel like Jesus is on campus ready to greet them. From the parking lot (beginning) to the parking lot (end) they should feel overwhelmed with love. 

b) Your songs, message and whole experience is geared to the churched only. Your team needs to openly discuss  how the unchurched may perceive what they are doing. 

7. You don't pray for them corporately. 

•We pray EVERY Wednesday for people far from God in our community together. You get what you pray for. I believe if a church is praying and really prepared they wil see the unchurched come. 

Pray through these values to see if you believe you need to change a course of action to reach the unchurched. 

3 Reasons why Frustration is Your Most Dangerous Enemy

We all have this same issue the creeps up on us as leaders: frustration. 

There is an Old Testament picture of the price of frustration. God told Moses to strike the rock and water would flow. Moses struck it with frustration (anger) more than once and then God informed Moses that he would not be entering the promise land because of this. What was the big issue? Frustration. 

We may not be trying to get 1 million people into the promised land but we can definitely identify. We all get frustrated. We all have had the sound bite, "That's all I can stands and I can't stands no more (in your Popeye voice)."

Lets face it. People quit. People who you trusted go behind your back and say nasty things. There is a huge task list. Sometimes it is unthankful. Oftentimes we respond in frustration. 

Frustration is very dangerous to a leader. It is that short circuit in the system that eventually causes the melt down. This is true for marriage, ministry or leadership. 

Here are 3 reasons why frustration is your most dangerous enemy: 

1) It is a build up to a nasty ending. 

•Frustration not dealt with is like destroying the bridge you are going to eventually cross. Anytime a leader reaches a place of continual frustration it doesn't end well. A leader has to realize that once that disease sets in it is almost always fatal. 

2) It demoralizes the team or relationship.

• A frustrated leader often has nothing of value to add to the team at that point. They are usually jaded and bitter. They spew negativity about people and the future. 

Let's face it. At this point it's hard to lead with vision. Most of the talk is of past hurt and what people are not doing. It ultimately makes it impossible to lead a team. 

3) It causes perpetual ungratefulness. 

• Probably the worst problem is this. There is so much to be grateful and thankful for. We usually let the 1,000 things going great be overshadowed by the 1 thing that is going wrong. 

Frustration causes us to miss the beautiful things happening in our midst. 

If you feel like this is you then you need to confide in someone and dump on them. Secondly be prepared for advice and perspective. Let that come from trusted friends and from God. Pause to hear what He is saying. 

Finally, sit down and count the cost. Can you overcome this disease of frustration at your current assignment or do you need another one? 

5 Marks of a Missional Worship Experience

This blog is not designed to teach "style" or "model." I simply want to give you give marks of a missional worship experience. 

We teach our people to live on mission all week. We also work with our ministry teams to be missional on Sundays. Every Sunday every volunteer is taking a mission trip. We are prepared for people far from God to be filled with life in Christ. 

Here are 5 marks of a missional worship experience: 

1. You are expecting people far from God to show up. 

•First and foremost this has to be the key. If you don't expect it then the rest of this blog is pointless. What you pray for and are expectant of comes to fruition. Every team leader and volunteer has to have that mindset. 

•If you are not expecting it them you will just turn your experience into camp meeting each week seeking to satisfy the ones who are coming. 

2. You gear every ministry with the mindset of mission. 

•Our mission at ThriveChurchVA is "we exist to help people experience God's love through Christ." 

•From your parking team to kids ministry; they are on mission. They are cognoscente that they will interact with people far from God. Constantly remind your church of their mission. 

•Help them understand that they participate in the wins. If someone gets saved at your experience help them understand that they, being on mission, played a part with that. 

3. Your worship song selection is Gospel-centered and engaging. 

•Worship is the engaging of mind, emotions and will. You want your songs to speak to them of God's love, the cross and His power that is available to save. You also want them to connect at the deepest level about God's love toward them. Finally you want them to do something. The result of worship music should also inspire people to want to respond to God's grace. 

•Keep a detailed record of all the songs you do. Plan them out and look at the big picture at what you are communicating. Worship leaders preach every week through the song selection. What are you preaching and teaching? Is it Gospel-centered? Does it reveal the true nature and mission of God?

•Be aware of singing songs that don't make sense to non-believers. Also, don't just sing the Apostles Creed or the Doxology. The song selection should be prepared to help them in the three areas  of mind, emotions and will. 

•Many times we do one if these really well but we fail in the other areas. Some churches sing a lot about "praise" but very little about the One who they are praising. Some sing about breakthroughs and new things but never the work of the cross or Christ. 

The main question to ask when looking at the music portion of your worship experience is this, "Are we teaching people the fullness of who the God of the Bible is and are they engaging with Him?" 

This is the essence of worshiping in spirit and truth. 

4. You pass by the cross when you preach and show them the real Hero of the message. 

•We have many different series that we preach. Some are felt needs, others the Gospel and some verse by verse. No matter what series you are in you always need to drive them by the cross. I had an elderly Bible professor tell me that. It has always stuck. 

•Make sure that people see the finished work of Calvary in the message. If you can preach it without needing the finished work on the cross then it is probably not Biblical. 

•Finally show them the real Hero of the story. We often make David, Moses or Joshua the hero. Remember that you are not slaying giants. Jesus did it and is doing it on your behalf. You are not conquering promised lands, Jesus has done it and is doing it on your behalf. Never let someone leave your message believing that they are the center and hero of the story. Point them back to the cross and Christ. 

If you are not preaching this then refer back to point #1 for the reason why you are not. 

5. Your two goals at the end are that people far from God connected with Him and that the people walking with God leave with a missional focus. 

•The main goal is two-fold. You can't make it one or the other. You want people leaving feeling more connected to God and having a greater awareness that they are in mission for God. 

•If they leave with one or the other they are in trouble. If they leave just feeling more connected to God without a sense of mission they become self-centered. However if you try to get people on mission that are not walking with the Savior they feel drained and can even become just a social justice machine. 

•Intimacy and Mission have to be married. Make sure that is woven throughout the worship experience. 

The worship experience requires lots of prayer, planning and evaluation. You can use these five points to see if you are putting together a missional worship experience. 

The Secret to Understanding Demographics

The Secret to Understanding Demographics

Let's get to the point. Demographics are misleading. I didn't think so four years ago. I had the best demographics for our church plant. I studied them and even memorized certain portions. But it didn't prepare me and truth be known it didn't even help me. Yes. I said that. They were misleading because I was not taught the secret of demographics. 

If you view demographics as just numbers, stats and ratios then you will be misled. 

The culture behind the numbers and stats are more important than the numbers themselves. For instance, you may have "City A" with 40% of the population 20-40 years old. So, you assume that you will mostly reach that group. So you sit in an office and make a plan based on those demographics. After a while you find out why you are not reaching that group. You moved from "City B" and reaching that group is like shooting fish in a barrel. You pop up a church and boom- they come. It's not happening here in "City A." Why? The culture is totally different. 

You need to put culture to your demographics. You can't exegete your culture by numbers on paper. You have to be baptized in that culture. For those pastors and planters who grew up or pastored previously in the city they do ministry in it's much easier. But if you are a church planter or accepting a pastoral assignment in another area then you need the numbers and stats but don't make any assumptions based on your previous culture. 

4 Things to Remember: 

1. All cultures are unique and different. Chicago and Atlanta are metro cities but totally different. Their cultures are very different. Find out what makes the culture unique there. Certain portions of the US have culture pockets. Some pastors work better in their culture pocket. A pastor from NY may not do very well in a Southern rural town just as the country preacher from a rural town may not make it in Seattle. 

2. Don't base your target on demographics alone. 

Get baptized in the culture. I worked for a government agency helping folks who were unemployed get back to work. I saw hundreds per week in South FL. I quickly realized the culture and my estimation of demographics were wrong!

3. Talk to the locals. 

Talk to pastors, natives and pilgrims. When I planted my first church I resisted the wisdom of local pastors. Granted most of them were very negative and cynical but I did not listen. In my most recent endeavor I just sat in onunch meetings and asked questions. Also, listen to the natives. Read responses to online newspaper articles. Find those who have been there for years and ask them questions. Also, talk to Pilgrim's. find out why people are moving to your community.

4. Don't ignore demographics. 

At first glance of this article it may seem that I am downing demographics. Not so. Learn them. Memorize them and adjust accordingly. 

The secret is to know the culture of each people group in the demographic that is represented. This is an ongoing task. Don't think you have it figured out after 3 months or 6 months of being there. You will continue to exegete and excavate that culture that will give you more insigt on the numbers and percentages. So, never recite numbers with out attaching the local culture if every group represented.

7 Secrets to Make the Most out of Summer

May 31-Sept 7 is church summer time. The months of June, July and August are usually a time for vacations and travel for families. 

I saw one church sign say, "I am glad God doesn't take vacations." You can sense the pastor's frustration. 

Summer can be fruitful. I am not saying you will break major growth barriers. If you do, that's great. But most past it's are trying to blindly walk through summer. I have heard that if you plateau during the summer you are probably growing. Encouraging, right?

Here are seven short secrets to making the most out of summer. 

1. Focus on getting better before bigger. 

•Take time to meet with ministry leaders and make each ministry better. Focus on getting better in all your functions. As the founder of Chick-fil-a said, "If we get better out customers will demand we get bigger." 

2. Plan strategic events that create momentum toward the fall. 

•We are hosting a baptism bash and BBQ, a community wide VBS and two back to school bashes. These events help build synergy and excitement within the church that bring momentum toward the fall. 

3. Use the summer to evaluate the previous six months. 

•Look back at averages, numbers and stats. Breakdown percentages of those serving, in groups, conversion growth, attendance and finances. See how much you have grown, declined or plateaued. 

4. Don't use all your creativity in preaching during the summer time. 

•We do a verse by verse teaching starting after Memorial Day and it continues through most of the summer. We teach through a book of the Bible. Don't use creative series during the summer. Save those series for Sept-May. Save up those creative juices. 

5. Summer doesn't mean you have to shut down. 

•I know there are several ways to skin this cat. The main point is to not quit during the summer. Use it strategically. 

6. Have a half-time huddle at some point.

•All sports teams have a half-time huddle. The coach reviews the first half of the game and gives an "adjusted" game plan for the second part of the game. Do the same with your church. 

7. Do some fun things during the summer with the church. 

•When people think of summer they think of BBQ's, water and fun. Have some fun events that can bring your folks together. Just have some fun! 

There are hundreds of other things ministry leaders can do during the summer. These are just a few ideas. 

Routine vs. Rhythm

Q: I get this question asked a lot ,"How do you get so much accomplished and stay so focused?"

A: Routines are deadly while a rhythm is necessary for growth as a leader. 

The people (including this guy) who face constant burn out are those who have a routine but no rhythm. This means their routine is a habitual problem that puts them in the direct line of burnout. 

A routine can be very deadly. For instance, your routine could be that you: 

•take on every task as it comes. 

•don't say no to opportunities or needs. 

•leave work late every day because you can't say no. 

•allow other people or co-worker's lack of planning put you in a tough spot. 

•don't schedule meetings properly or schedule too many. 

•allow people to back you in a corner by needing it "right now." They need to learn to plan as well. 

•have no daily and weekly task, meeting and emergency schedule.

And the main reason is you don't have a rhythm. Lets be honest: your routine of spontaneity, haphazard planning, lack of foresight and inability to say no is taking its toll on you. 

2013 was the year I had to move from an unhealthy routine of the hamster wheel to a healthy rhythm. 

A rhythm means that you establish certain tasks on certain days, live by a calendar, protect your personal time and refuse to be spread thin. 

A rhythm looks like this: 

•certain tasks HAVE to be scheduled and completed weekly. I will even say, "I am in a meeting." It's that serious. I am meeting with that task. 

•schedule personal devotion time and exercise. Being physically unhealthy is the result of a routine as well. 

•Plan time in each day for "surprise" or emergency tasks. They will happen. Stop being surprised.

•live by a schedule. This means you can't stay on the phone as long as you want or surf the Internet all day. There are times when I can't take calls because I have scheduled "meetings" with critical tasks. 

•if it's important they will leave a message. Schedule times to return calls and emails. 

•have downtime EVERY DAY. Don't be so consumed with work that it's a you do or think about. 

Here is the easy way to do this. Plan your week around the big tasks that have to happen that week and every week. 

I write my Sunday message on Monday. Why? The media team needs it and I don't want them to be pressured late and I want that monkey off my back. I have 4 major tasks everyday that have to be accomplished. I work through those first and then go to "surprise" tasks that come in via email or call. The schedule dictates my time, not feelings or other people. 

Take time this week to set up a RHYTHM. Remember, don't complain because you are the master of your schedule. If you live in a rhythm then others will have to adjust their routines to your rhythm. 

Thoughts on Burn Out

Burnout: 

As a leader who desires to start a movement in your church or organization there is a hidden enemy called, "Burnout."

I remember in 2007 sitting with Coach John (Chasteen), Dean of Southwestern Christian University, at an Applebees in South Carolina and he explained burnout to a friend and I on a napkin. He drew the picture of a linear graph and showed the signs and procession of burnout. He also shared his dramatic experience with this. He even stated that once you burnout you never get fully back to that place of energy again. 

Even with all this information I burned out in the summer of 2011. There were TONS of external issues that helped contribute to it, but the main factor is that I allowed myself to burnout. 

The key is that we often think that if we had a different scenario we would not burn out. We get into the "when-then" mentality. The view that burnout is an external issue is the problem. The reason one lets burnout happen is just that- they let it happen. 

Here are a few thought on stress....

1. Know the Signs: Anger/Frustration. Lack of joy in hobbies that once seemed fun. Marriage or close relationships suffer. Depression. Lack of motivation. Physically tired all the time. Withdrawal. Constant ideas on how to escape or quit.

2. Know the Reasons (personally): Stress comes because of being overwhelmed. This can come because of personal high expectations or meeting other's approval. This may come from conflict or tasks that seem overwhelming. 

Know what burns you out personally. 

3. Act Immediately: The moment you think you are burning out- act. You are the master of your life. Don't act as a victim. That's what got you burned out in the first place. Take some time. Explain to your wife, leaders or denomination that you need a few days off. Begin to seek God fresh once again.

4. Set up Boundaries: Weekly have a time of personal refreshing. You need to do this spiritually and recreationally. Guard your time carefully. Have a way or ways to "dump" stress. As a dump truck gets loaded, so do you. It doesn't stay loaded however. It's called a "dump" truck. Take an inventory of the things you are doing to dump stress. Make them happen.

Learn to REST! God rested on the 7th day not because He was tired but because He made a model for us. Perry Noble recently said, "If you don't work people may call you lazy, but if you don't rest God calls you disobedient." 

Do you find ministry frustrating?

Have you lost joy and peace, internally?

Are you fatigued and lack motivation?

Are your sleep patterns changing?

Do you dream of doing something else (fantasizing)?

Have you lost gratefulness?

Talk to someone today. Be open, vulnerable and honest. Take some time away. Rest and recharge. Most importantly, let God speak to you about your situation. You were never mean to carry that stress.