When is Good Enough, Good Enough?
Okay, this is the struggle of most people. It really has been mine. I was talking with a friend about 6 months ago on the issue of ministry and I told him what I had asked myself, "Is my good enough, good enough to see this dream come to pass?"
I was in the middle of a struggle yesterday. I am going to be very honest and real. As a pastor, sometimes it hurts (right in the heart), when someone chooses not to come back to your church and chooses another. I think every pastor, at the core of their being (and rightly should), believes that their church is awesome and everyone can be fed the most there. There should be a healthy love and respect for the work you are doing in Christ and Christ through you.
But, it hurts. I told God yesterday, "God, I cannot prepare any harder, pray any more, schedule anymore rest time, be more focused on my wife.... I am running on all cylinders. Why won't people connect here to our ministry like they do other ministries? Is my good enough really good enough to see this thing come to fruition?"
I felt the Lord answer back, "Kevin, your good enough will never be good enough if the standard is the approval of other people. Other people cannot dictate if your 'good enough' is good enough. Only I (the Lord) can dictate that. And am I pleased with you and love you. I gave David his ten thousands and Saul his thousands. I raised up kings and brought kings low. I am Sovereign. Don't let the enemy take you captive with this foolishness of being good enough in ministry to impress people so much that they come back. This is my ministry and I call those who are assigned to this ministry."
I feel the Lord has me at a stoplight. So many people and especially leaders are co-dependent on others to bring them a sense of self worth. So.....
Dear World, from this day forward I am going to be real and truthful. I will not sugar coat things in order to make you feel good if I am doing it to just gain your approval. I will also be very loving in delivering truth. I appreciate your congratulations on successes. I appreciate your feedback on messages. I appreciate your times when you really, really, don't like me. I have learned that my good enough was never and should never be based on what others think, but who I am in Christ. I am sorry for allowing my emotions to be dictated by your approval or disapproval. I am sorry that I cannot meet all your expectations all the time. I will remain accountable, and allow criticism, but my best is my best. God approves of me. He loves me and is walking with me. It is HIS grace leading through me. It is HIS grace that preaches and teaches.
ps.... hope you like this. :) J/K