Everyone who is in ministry will tell you about this principle: "At some point in time you will have a death and ressurrection experience in your ministry (maybe even multiple times)."
I have had this happen to me before as well. It can be comparable to Abraham offering his son Isaac up at the LORD's command. This process can feel like the worst pain ever at the time, but afterwards there is growth and perspective that comes from it.
Abraham was given a dream by God. He did not ask for his assignment. He did not ask for a son or for his son to be the one where the Covenant promise would come through. He was merely minding his own business and God interrupted his life. He was given a dream whereby God allowed it do go through a process of death. Abraham carried his son onto the altar and was ready to whatever God was asking.
Many of us have a hard time with that. The reason is that we live with expectations. We have formulated certain expectations of a dream's outcome should look like. These expectations are what makes this ordained death process look so bad. God ordained that Abraham would have to offer the dream up.
Take the life of Jesus Christ for example. His disciples had an expectation that their calling to follow Messiah would result in governmental rule and reign. Their earthly expectation of their dream literally died. When Christ went to the cross, all of their dreams and desires went there too.
I wonder how they felt? I wonder the disappointment. I wonder the embarrassment they felt from family and friends. I wonder what it felt like the first day back to their old jobs.
The crazy thing is that the dream wasn't dead. God had a much better plan. They did not even recognize Jesus when he rose from the dead. It was like nothing they had expected and was MUCH better. Trust God even when it looks like death may be occurring because it is. Your dream will die so His can live. Beware.... you may not recognize it when it does rise again.