I was in a small group recently and we came to this discovery, "Sometimes we project what we want others to be or what we think we can help them become, but 'it' is just not in them."
Jesus put it this way, "Don't cast your pearls before swine or give what is holy to the dogs." The term, "what is holy" literally means the personal revelation in your life. It takes prayer and persistence + heartaches to have these "pearl" moments in our lives. "Dogs" in that day and time represented untamed, wild animals with no restraint.
In other words, "Don't give the personal revelation you have sweated for and fought for to people who have no restraint in their lives."
I have had the opportunity to mentor many people. Many of these have grown into great leaders. However, some of these people faltered and hurt me. The first time it happened I was shocked, now I know the principle: "It may not be in them."
Mentoring is the process by which potential in someone is realized to a certain extent. This comes by way of relationship where one person takes on the role of a mentor and helps "stretch" the mentee to be able to think on higher levels and handle more.
I have realized that some people may not have it. How do we find this out? How do we know?
We must not judge someone on appearance or gifting. We can judge them based on these factors:
1) Are they doing things now to grow themselves? Don't listen to what they want to do, ask them what they are current doing.
2) Do they pursue an appointment to meet with you or do you have to run them down? Also, see how punctual they are.
3) In emotional times, do they seek you out for advice or do they hide? This is important to look at during failure, criticism or relational situations. Do they tell you the truth or what they want you to hear?
Finally.... Time. Take time to know people and you will not know people unless it happens through the process of time. Time is the most important factor to know what is inside someone.
Don't let the hurt of a past relationship damage your ability to mentor. Realize from the start- "Some may not have it."